Let’s be honest: most managers dread giving feedback. It feels stressful. We worry about emotions boiling up or the conversation going sideways. And for many of us, the only model we have seen is the once or twice-a-year review, which can feel more like a hit list of everything that is wrong.

But think about this:
What if feedback is not about calling someone out, but about helping them succeed?

Your team members want to grow. They want clarity. And even if emotions surface in the moment, feedback is ultimately about shaping their future success.

Before you Start, Prepare

A helpful feedback conversation begins well before you sit down together. Get ready by:

• Writing down 2 to 3 specific examples of the behavior. This keeps the message focused instead of vague.
• Checking your emotions. If you are frustrated, pause until you can deliver the message clearly and professionally.
• Having your notes ready. It gives structure and ensures you do not miss important points.

A little preparation goes a long way in keeping the conversation focused and easier to navigate.

Delivery Without the Stress

Begin with your positive intention:
“I am sharing this because I want to support your success.”
This simple statement lowers defenses and signals partnership.

Then use the SBI method, a simple structure that has been widely used for decades because it keeps feedback objective and clear. Include the:

1. Situation: When and where something happened. “During yesterday’s meeting…”
2. Behavior: What you observed, no more than 2 to 3 examples. Avoid assumptions or motives. “… you arrived 10 minutes late…”
3. Impact: How it affected you, the work, or the team. (…”and we had to restart and lost time.”

This approach helps managers communicate with clarity and keeps emotion from taking over.

Invite and Include Them

Bringing them into the discussion gives them ownership of the solution and reduces defensiveness. When people feel heard, they are more open, more engaged, and more willing to take action.

• Ask open-ended questions: “What is your take on this?” or “What is going on from your side?”
• Listen deeply: Let them fully respond before jumping in.
• Co-create solutions: “What would help prevent this next time?” or “What support do you need?”

Close the Loop

Agree on next steps and check in during your next one-on-one. Consistent follow-through builds trust and helps ensure real progress.

This may sounds like:

•  “I’ll check in with you during our next one-on-one to see how this is going.”
• “Let me know what support you need as you work on this.”

Systemize Feedback

When feedback happens regularly, it stops feeling harsh or surprising. And when it is paired with consistent recognition, those small course corrections land much more smoothly.

This connects directly to the R in my FLOURISH@WORK® framework, Recognize Progress and Wins. Recognition matters because it strengthens the behaviors you want repeated. A quick moment of positive feedback gives the brain a boost and reinforces confidence and resilience.

Aim for at least 75 percent positive feedback in your overall interactions. When recognition becomes the foundation, your team is more open to growth, more receptive to guidance, and more likely to build the habits you want to encourage.

Helping Your Team Members Flourish

When feedback is clear, thoughtful, and part of your regular routine, it stops feeling intimidating and starts helping everyone grow. A little preparation, a simple structure, and an open conversation are all it takes. Over time, these small moments build trust and make working together smoother and more effective.