I’m going to say something unpopular.
I think the way we talk about self-care is doing the next generation a disservice.
At some point, self-care started sounding like this: slow down, do less, take more breaks. Step away and you’ll feel better.
And yet, this is the most self-care aware generation in history. According to data from the CDC and the American Psychological Association, Gen Z reports higher rates of anxiety and depression than previous generations.
So if we’re talking about self-care more than ever… why aren’t we feeling better?
Maybe the answer isn’t always doing less. Maybe it’s progress.
The Science of Forward Movement
There’s strong research behind this idea. Psychologists call it the progress principle. When we make meaningful progress on something that matters to us, our motivation increases. Our mood lifts. We feel more capable and more in control.
Forward movement fuels well-being.
But… progress requires focus. And we’re now living in a world designed to interrupt it.
Instead of getting into flow, we toggle between tabs. Notifications constantly interrupt us. We lose hours to mindless scrolling. We consume far more than we create. And these things rarely leave us fulfilled.
In my FLOURISH framework, Focus and Flow are foundational to well-being. When we protect our attention long enough to immerse ourselves in meaningful work, we enter a state of flow. And flow is one of the most restorative psychological states available to us. It builds confidence. It strengthens competence. It quiets mental noise.
But flow cannot happen when we are constantly fragmented.
There’s a different kind of satisfaction that comes from staying with something long enough to get over the learning curve. From putting in the reps. From watching yourself get better.
What Progress Looks Like in Real Life
For me, writing this blog and weekly newsletter is a perfect example.
There are many Fridays when I just don’t have it in me. Or when client to-do’s feel more urgent. I could easily justify skipping it.
But when I sit down and write anyway, something shifts. I hit publish. It might be from my attic in the early morning hours. It might be from a hotel desk lamp while traveling with family. But when I look back at years of consistent entries, I see something real that I’ve built.
And THAT energizes me more than any binge-watching afternoon ever could.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I care deeply about rest. I am CRAZY about my sleep. I take short sunlight walks to reset throughout the day. I meditate every morning and evening.
I KNOW that recovery matters.
But inside my day, what truly resets me are intentional micro-goals. Choosing one meaningful step forward. And then acknowledging it. Even the smallest accomplishment builds momentum.
A Reframe Towards Focus and Progress
What if self-care isn’t just about stepping back, but also about moving forward in a direction that matters?
Not hustle culture. Not burnout. But purposeful progress.
A leadership skill you’re strengthening. That course you’re finally taking. A creative idea you’re finally executing.
Maybe focus and flow aren’t separate from well-being but are essential to it.
And maybe what this next generation needs isn’t more permission to pause. It’s more support in protecting their focus long enough to move something meaningful forward.