I’ve spent a lot of time this past year watching my 12-year-old son on the golf course. His skills often hold up against kids much older than him, but when frustration takes over after a bad shot, his game can quickly unravel. When he slows down, takes a breath, and resets, he often redeems himself on the very next hole. The talent is there, but the emotional regulation is still catching up.
The same thing happens to us as adults in life and work. High-stakes moments, whether it’s a big presentation or a difficult conversation, can be incredibly challenging. Our bodies often react before the event even begins, sending our heart racing, shoulders tightening, and mind fogging.
That stress response is normal. It’s your amygdala sounding the alarm and preparing you for fight-or-flight. As I often share in my workshops, this response is useful if you’re running from danger, but in high-pressure situations it hijacks the very skills you need most: clear thinking, steady decision-making, and calm presence.
The good news? Just like the simple tools I suggest my son use to reset on the course, we can use science-backed strategies to steady ourselves and keep from unraveling when the pressure is on. With a few practical techniques, you give yourself the best chance to show up at your best, even in the toughest moments.
Preparing for the Stressful Event
How you prepare matters just as much as how you perform. By setting yourself up beforehand, you give your brain and body the best chance to stay steady when the stakes are high. Here are three simple, science-backed practices that make a big difference:
1. Get a Good Night’s Sleep
Research published in Nature Neuroscience found that just one night of sleep deprivation makes the brain’s emotional center (the amygdala) 60% more reactive while weakening its connection to the prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for logic and self-control. In other words: without sleep, you’re wired to overreact.
2. Practice Box Breathing
Box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) lowers cortisol and strengthens your ability to reset under pressure. Practicing ahead of time conditions your nervous system to recover quickly when stress rises, so you can enter in your best state, and use it in the moment if needed.
3. Visualize Success
Visualization isn’t just positive thinking. It’s neuroscience. Mentally rehearsing an event activates many of the same neural pathways as actually doing it. That’s why athletes and executives alike use this strategy to prepare for high-pressure moments. By picturing yourself calm, composed, and ready to navigate the challenges that may come your way, you prime your brain to respond with clarity under pressure.
Staying Calm In the Moment
Preparation sets the stage, but even with the best intentions, pressure can spike in real time. That’s why it helps to have simple techniques you can use without stepping out of the room. Whether you’re speaking, listening, or simply trying to keep your focus, these small resets help you stay present and composed when the stakes are highest.
1. Pause and Breathe Before You Respond
Taking a 2–3 second pause with a slow, steady breath helps lower your heart rate and signals to your body that it’s safe. This simple reset creates space for clearer thinking and allows you to respond with calm authority rather than react on impulse… something I’m constantly reminding my junior golfer to do when things feel like they’re spiraling.
2. Ground Through Your Body
Press your feet into the floor or rest your palms against your thighs. That subtle grounding tells your nervous system you’re safe, helping you stay steady in the moment.
3. Use a Sensory Anchor
Direct your attention to a single sensory detail, like the texture of your pen, the temperature of your coffee, or the rhythm of your breath. Shifting focus outward interrupts spiraling thoughts and restores presence, making it easier to think clearly under pressure.
At the end of the day, even the most talented players and most experienced professionals can get thrown off when the pressure spikes. I see it with my son on the golf course all the time. His skills are there, but if he doesn’t manage the frustration, the round can slip away fast. The same is true for us. Knowledge and preparation matter, but so does our ability to stay steady when stress shows up. With a few simple resets, we can keep ourselves from unraveling and give our best performance when it counts.